I think my vagina is haunted
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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