Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Boobs are out for the taking
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
