I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He felt like a one man threesome
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
