I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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