At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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