he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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