I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize