So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
