fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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