new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
