you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
