It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
