she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
