so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We were destined to go to rehab together
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
