so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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