No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
