Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
