i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize