My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
two words: eviction party
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
