You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
