I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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