yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
