I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
