Dual....:-)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
