its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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