I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
