everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
