She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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