I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
