Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
