how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
