Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
