So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
