Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
