We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Bring me that man meat
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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