Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
