I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
