we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
