I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
