She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize