Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
