Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
tell me about the eggs
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
