I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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