that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
