Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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