You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
