:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The adults are the big ones right?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
