When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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