hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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