i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
