nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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