Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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