If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There's always time for handjobs
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
