Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
