Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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