U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
