Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
