Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we made out on top of his cat.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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