Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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