Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
